Time flies, or am I just procrastinating?

6 months since last posting.. and I am still struggling. It seems like a rollercoaster ride that speeds up then slows down. I find myself always coming up with plausible excuses.. but that is what they are.. excuses. Not even good ones really.. although I can back them up if I debate with myself, or explain to my doc why I haven't done as well as I should. I can acknowledge that there will always be struggles, always be emotional issues or crisies that will send me over that edge. Food is comfort.. no all food, not the food that is good for me.. the foods of choice for my comfort are always the old standbys.. Corn chowder, chips & dip, good old carb loaded goodies. So here I still am, still struggling, still fighting the fight to better myself, for myself. Still working toward my mini goals. Reminding myself that I didn't get here overnight & I will not give up. Weight today 183

Compulsion

Hmm, almost a week, not sure I am entirely back on track. Hard to fix what the rest of the gang wants for dinner & not eat it too. But I am down 3lbs & I'll take it! It is such an emotion based reaction to eat. To smother my feelings with food. It takes a concerted effort to switch what I eat when that compulsion trys to take over. I grab a few almonds or some pepperoni slices & a stick of cheese. I get a steaming hot cup of coffee rather than feed the urge to eat every time. It will always be a struggle, I have to own that & know I will make the right choices. A learning process to be sure!
Weight today 185.

Back on the Wagon

It has been 5 months since I last posted.. my winter of discontent.. from my birthday the beginning of October thru until the twin's birthday the beginning of February I am in an emotional wasteland. It takes everything in me to get through the basic functions of caring for the kids.. everything else is pushed to the wayside. Including taking care of myself. I have gained back over 15 lbs of the weight I had lost. I have been discouraged & frustrated. I have not seen my Dr. since September. I see him again in a few weeks. I spoke with the nutritionist & am working on getting back on track.
I am hoping I can get myself to a better point & be better able to cope next winter. The anniversary of my daughter's death will never be easier for me to handle, but I need to find better ways to cope. Emotional issues are the root of my being overweight & not giving myself the worth I deserve. That is a hard thing to change. So here we are again...
Weight today 188