So you've had a bad day..

I have been riding on an even keel the past few weeks. I have been diligent about using the fatsecret app on my phone to track everything I eat or drink. I felt myself slipping the past day or two. This is an ongoing battle. Against my weight & against my emotional triggers that helped get me here in the first place.
I had a couple pieces of Sushi last night. The rice is a big no-no. Today has been a constant struggle not to devour everything in sight! Today is an emotional day for me personally so I knew it would be hard. I had hoped being on track the past few weeks would help. I think it has.. I had a turkey burger (no bun) & mashed cauliflower at Ruby Tuesdays today at lunch when what I really wanted was pasta. I ate half a bag of pork skins (no carbs!) instead of ordering pizza. I am drinking my iced coffee right now instead of devouring the kid's mini snack cakes. But I am miserable! Not because I didn't have pizza.. and I know the pizza would not make me feel better for long,it would actually make me feel worse. I am emotionally miserable for personal reasons that have nothing to do with food.
Food has always been my pacifier, my soother. I have to deal with my emotions rather than smothering them in chocolate! I have seen a therapist for several years now. That has helped alot. But ultimately it is my responsibility to make the right choices. I can blame my childhood, my ex, my losses, my tragedies, my health, but at the end of the line there is just me. The next step I take is my own. I will get through today. I fear failure, I fear losing the gains I have made.. gaining the pounds I have lost! I fear my MS will make my mood swings & emotional waves harder to deal with. But more than those.. I fear not being here for my family, not being able to do things with my children & grandchildren. So I will win this battle one step, one day at a time!!
Truth: I did indulge in chocolate today.. Godiva Pearls.. Only 3 grams of carbs in 8 little pieces. They come in a little metal container that I keep in the fridge. I try to only have a couple at a time.. make the 8 last the whole day.. there are several days worth in there!!