Through the looking glass..

I have put alot of things on the back burner lately, including my blogging. I have been very busy with an animal rescue I work with & even tho the kiddos are back in school, I am still watching my 6 mo. old grandson & running ragged most days. I was excited when I realized I hadn't weighed myself in a while & when I did I was down to 170lbs! It was Sunday morning when I was getting dressed. I had a dog rescue adoption event all weekend & I had worn a favorite pair of shorts & top on Saturday. A friend mentioned it was time for me to buy some clothes that fit. I looked in the mirror when I went to the restroom & really paid attention to the clothes I was wearing.. they really were too big! I can well remember when they were too tight for me to wear & how good I felt when I could actually wear them without feeling self conscious. Now they hang on me & when I hold them out to the side they are very baggy! When did this happen? Why do I not see the difference as well as others do? I look in the mirror & I see the me I have always seen. I do not notice very much difference in my body size/weight. It is difficult for me to buy clothes because I pick out the wrong sizes & hate running back & forth to the fitting room, so I take them home & end up returning them later.
I remember when I had lost weight once before & was shopping at Lane Bryant, the salesgirl was helping me & suggested I try some tops I liked in a smaller size because the ones I tried on were too big. I didn't look at the size she got me, tried them on & liked the way they fit. She told me soon I wouldn't be able to shop there anymore because those were the smallest size they had.. I panicked & said "Oh no! Where am I supposed to shop??!" She answered me.. anywhere you want to! I had shopped there for over 20 years. I avoided regular clothing stores because most didn't carry sizes big enough for me. I couldn't process the thought that I could shop somewhere else, I could go to any store & find clothes that fit me.. it is still hard for me to accept that.
So I have hit another Big "O"!! I am at a weight I have not been in over about 25 years. That seems so surreal to me. I am still waiting to wake up & be at my heaviest weight again.. but I am so thankful I am not dreaming, that the woman I see in the mirror is really me.
TRUTH: Although the weight loss going slow is frustrating, it is happening & is more likely to stay off than if I dropped weight really fast & I didn't have to work at it.