Welcome to Life with My Lap Band!

I am not sure what my goals are, other than to commit myself to document this journey. I am not sure what use this will be to anyone else, but it is a tool I have used before when facing challenges & it really helped.
My surgery date was October 21, 2010. I weighed in at 210lbs. I was borderline BMI, but recently diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis & numerous neck & back issues. Like most I had a hernia repair as well. Recovery went well other than the residual left shoulder pain. That lasted several weeks.
My progress has been slow. Agonizingly slow! Today I weighed in at 187lbs. I had major neck surgery Jan. 20th which set me back quite a bit, but my biggest hurdle is myself. I have a long list of emotional baggage, events that I struggle to deal with every day. (We all do!) I can't seem to turn the corner, take that step forward where I COME FIRST.
It sounds easy enough doesn't it? Put myself first on the grocery list. Put myself first when preparing the family meals. Yet I don't. So I buy what they like, cook what they like, & justify to myself that I might as well eat what is already there.
It is familiar, easy, & ultimately my crutch.
My head knows what I am supposed to do. I nod my head when my Dr. & Nutritionist remind me what I need to do & what is best for me. Today my doc suggested a book for me along with the recommendation I read late at night instead of eating! "Why We Get Fat: And What To Do About It" by Gary Taubes. I am to make notes to discuss with him in 3 weeks. I will let you know what I think.
I have felt frustrated, overwhelmed, & stuck.. physically & emotionally. Some people think the Lap Band is an instant fix. It is not! It is an assistive device, totally dependent on our proper use of it to work. I know two people close to me who have had this procedure. One has been successful, the other ultimately had the band removed without the end result she had hoped for after several issues & complications.
I am moving forward. I will post musings, food logs, recipes & opinions. I will post weight updates as I go. Everyone is different. What works for me may not work for someone else. All any of us can do is try!